Confederacy of Dunce

Trump is resurrecting the Lost Cause, policy by policy, plaque by plaque.

Required reading for anyone hoping to avoid involuntary enlistment in the second War of Northern Aggression.

“Abandon your animosities,” Robert E. Lee urged his fellow Confederates in the waning days of the Civil War, “and make your sons Americans.” But President Donald Trump didn’t bury the hatchet—he’s reviving, licensing, and restoring Confederate symbols and names to the national stage.

While many have moved on from the fight over Confederate commemoration, Trump is resurrecting the Lost Cause, policy by policy, plaque by plaque.

Here’s what that looks like:

You are cordially invited to secede from Lost Cause nostalgia:

1. Base Names, Rebranded as a Loophole
   In 2023, the Army renamed nine bases that once honored Confederate officers. Fort Liberty replaced Fort Bragg. Fort Cavazos replaced Fort Hood. It took years of public input and bipartisan agreement. Trump now plans to reverse them—all while claiming the names honor other people with the same surnames. It’s not historical—it’s trolling. (Military Times)

Historic Progress Tracker. Brought to you by the Federal Office of Time-Travel In Place.

2. Confederate Monuments, Federal Edition
   Trump’s March 2025 executive order calls for the restoration of monuments removed from federal property—including Confederate ones. His justification? “They’re erasing history.” Translation: bring back the bronze secessionists. (Axios)

3. Pentagon Cleanup, Canceled
   The Department of Defense tried scrubbing Confederate names and symbols from military property. Trump calls it “an attack on history” and promises to scrub the cleanup instead. (Military Times)

   

   Stephen Miller has them all! (I made this up.)

4. Rallies With the Stars and Bars
   Trump’s back to praising Robert E. Lee as “the greatest general,” despite losing the war—and the facts. Confederate flags have returned as rally decor. (The Nation)

5. Federal Power vs. Local Choice
   Trump has vowed to override towns, cities, even school boards that want to remove Confederate names. Heritage, he says. Hijacking, historians say.

6. Cheering “Heritage Protection” Laws
   He’s praised states that ban the removal of Confederate memorials altogether. Local voters? Doesn’t matter. The past is under contract.

7. Branding Reckoning as Rebellion
   Tear down a statue, rename a street—suddenly it’s an attack on the nation itself. Trump collapses the line between the United States and the ones who tried to destroy it.

8. Neo-Confederates, Center Stage
   Trump no longer flirts with the fringe. He platforms Lost Cause apologists, repeats their talking points, and treats their endorsements like endorsements of America.

9. Running on 1861
   Trump says he’s defending “real Americans.” But the version he’s selling stopped at the surrender at Appomattox. Every plaque is a political weapon. Every name a fight to pick.

Read before you accidentally secede from reality.

Trump’s not preserving history—he’s weaponizing nostalgia. He’s not governing in 2025. He’s governing in 1861.

And the only thing new is the merch table.

See you soonish! In the meantime, you can find me on Instagram and, on occasion, Bluesky and Twitter. My books are at Bookshop, Amazon, and your local bookstore or library. If you’d like me to sign or personalize my books, purchase copies from Oblong Books.