Happy 20th to "National Treasure," a National Treasure

History as imagined by a conspiracy theorist after a Red Bull binge.

Benjamin Franklin as a master conspirator, the Declaration of Independence as a treasure map, and Benjamin Franklin Gates' (Nicolas Cage) hair defying both gravity and historical accuracy.

If you know, you know, and if you don't, now is a great time to find out: Today marks the 20th anniversary of "National Treasure," the 2004 adventure film that follows Ben Gates on a quest to uncover vast wealth hidden by America's Founding Fathers. It's as if Dan Brown and a sugar-high fifth-grader were given unlimited funds to plan their first boy-girl party—and I love it.

I didn't see it in theaters but by the time I was in grad school, it was an event. I’d watch alongside Mary Klann with a mix of horror and fascination as the Declaration of Independence, that sacred document, endured a gauntlet of abuse that would make any conservationist's blood run cold: gunfire peppering its bulletproof case, a liberal dousing of lemon juice, and a hair-dryer treatment. They handled parchment with gloves, the ultimate "I have no idea what I'm doing" tell in my world—one of many I need to suspend disbelief. This cavalier treatment of historical artifacts isn't just dramatic license; it's historical sacrilege played for laughs.

I should HATE it, but “National Treasure” does something remarkable: It transforms the Founding Fathers from the watered-down, obligatory subjects of our youth, the stern faces we carry in our wallets, the problematic figures people most often want to cast off or unquestioningly revere, into masterminds of an elaborate treasure hunt. What a rebrand!

Is it good history? Absolutely not, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and tonight, mine wants to watch Nicolas Cage steal the Declaration of Independence. Again.

Happy birthday, "National Treasure." May your gleeful disregard for historical accuracy and archival propriety continue to scandalize and delight in equal measure.

See you soonish! In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram and my books on Bookshop, Amazon, and your local bookstore or library. If you’d like me to sign or personalize my books, purchase copies from Oblong.