Part I: 79-Years-Old, 250 Years Off Message
Biden Got a Colonoscopy. Trump Gets a Parade.
On a Related Note:
I don’t think the decision to shuffle out of office at 81 should have been Biden’s to make, nor should it be left to the Republican rival, Donald Trump — a convicted felon who, if successful, will be 82 at the end of his second term … which he may not consider his last. If lawmakers don’t codify an age limit for the presidency — or remove the minimum requirement of 35 — Biden’s farewell might be remembered as the last coherent thing said by a sitting president. —Me, last year in Rolling Stone
🎂 Biden Got a Colonoscopy. Trump Gets a Parade.
As always, Trump’s staging a distraction. The headlines are typically abhorrent—anti-constitutional acts, human rights violations, generally abhorrent behavior—but what’s conspicuously absent is the one thing that dominated Biden’s 79th birthday: Age.
When Joe Biden turned 79, he went to the doctor, then to church, then home for dinner. When Donald Trump turns 79, he’s usurping a military parade.
Thousands of troops. Tanks. Flyovers. Fireworks.
Officially, it’s for the Army’s 250th birthday. Unofficially, it’s the birthday party of an aspiring autocrat.
Same Age, Two Realities
Biden’s age was a crisis. Trump’s is crisis, so his age gets little attention. Biden was too old to serve, Trump is just old enough to reign.
The Real Story
This isn’t about age. It’s about how we interpret age. Biden’s seen as elderly. Trump’s seen as eternal. But they’re the same age. The difference isn’t years—it’s optics, expectations, and a media ecosystem that confuses shouting with strength.
So Who’s Really Unfit?
Not the guy with the colonoscopy.
The one who thinks the Army exists to wish him a happy birthday.
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